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What is Creating? Part 3

This is part three of my “What is Creating?” Series. Let’s get straight into it:

 

Creating Isn’t About:

 

Avoiding Failure at All Costs.

There are probably some good things about our school system (it gets the kids out of our hair for one thing, right?), but undeniably the worst thing about it is rote learning and testing. Why? Because it trains you to be attached to getting the right answer. Yep. Year after year of schooling, you learn stuff, you’re tested, and if you respond correctly you get a treatie (in the form of good marks, respect, better opportunities, etc.). And like a dog in puppy school you become trained to always get it right.

 

Okay, So it has its uses. I bet you’re glad you learned how to read and write for instance. But the problem with it is this: you learn to have a very negative association with getting the wrong answer, or, in other words, failure.

 

And what does this lead to? It leads you to only going for things that you already know how to do, because those are the only areas in which you can be guaranteed to get the right answer. This keeps your scope limited. It keeps you in administration when you should be a designer, or churning out newspaper copy when you should be writing a book, or training staff when you want to be expanding your business.

 

Remember when you were learning to walk? Probably not, hey. But if you did remember you would know you fell over hundreds of times before you got it together. If you want to get serious about having the results you want in your life, you’re going to have to let go of your fear of messing up. You’re going to have to go for stuff you don’t already know how to do, and maybe sometimes face a crowd of people with spaghetti sauce on your shirt, or realize after a Ted talk that your fly was undone the WHOLE time.

 

MOST likely it won’t be that bad. But you’ll never know until you chance it. You’ll never know until you start banking on yourself.

 

The truth is: it is those who are most willing to get out there and fail who will create the most powerful results in the end.

 

After all, even Einstein got it wrong once or twice.

 

Making Conditions.

We all would like to be able to make a bargain with the universe, right? Because everything we go for is a risk. So it would be nice to know that the risk is going to pay off – that there is a guarantee that we are not going to be hurt, or exposed, or bankrupted, or rejected, or really, anything bad. Most of us, when we go for something, are unconsciously hanging on to something that we insist cannot happen.

This is having a conditional relationship with life. And life doesn’t like it. Put it this way: Imagine you are starting a relationship with someone and you say to them:

“Look, I like you, but I’m not entirely sure whether this will work out, so I want to keep my ex on standby in case it doesn’t. Do you mind?”

Or, imagine you are going into business with someone and you say:

“Hey, this is going to be awesome, but it’s too much of a risk for me financially, so I think you should put up all the capital, and I’ll see how it goes. If it goes well, I’ll definitely put my money in. How does that sound?”

Life doesn’t respond well when you approach it with conditions. In fact, when you go for stuff whilst hanging on to your safety net, it’s ineffective, uninspiring, and far more painful.

Real creators are able to open their hearts to what they fear, and go for things wholeheartedly, freely allowing whatever happens to happen. As a result, they create more powerfully. They have more fun. And life rewards them with what looks like luck, but is really just the rewards of unconditional living.

 

Refusing to do Anything you don’t “Love” for the Rest of your Life.

This is a good one. Some of us get stuck in the idea that if we are to “go for what we love”, that means we can never do anything that doesn’t suit our passions, ever. Of course this is crazy. No matter how much you love something, there will be days when you don’t. There will be stuff you have to do that is not fun. And there will be times when you want to turn back altogether.

Real creators know this. Real creators are passionate enough about what they are going for to do what it takes to achieve their results. They are truly dedicated individuals, who are deeply committed to sharing their gifts, and not afraid to “do the hard yards” to make this happen.

That’s it for What Creating Isn’t. I’d love to hear what you think. Please comment below with your thoughts…

Lots of Love

Willow

If you are keen to become a creator yourself, I have a 7 week course beginning on the 8th of May. You can check it out here.

 

If you’d like to book an awesome half hour session with me and nail your purpose in life – you can get more info here.  

 

What is Creating? – Part 2

This is part two of my “What is Creating?” Series. Let’s get straight into it:

Creating Isn’t About:

 

Being Attached to the Outcome.

Here’s a fun debate for the Buddhists in the crowd, who may say that all desire is wrong, because it is a form of attachment, which causes suffering. I agree, attachment does cause suffering. If you insist on things turning out a certain way, you will cause pain to yourself and others. But having a vision is not the same as being attached to a desire. When creators dream up what they would love, they do so not because they are attached to an outcome, or because they need things to be a certain way, or to get away from the way things are, but for the love of the thing they wish to create. Creating is active loving. It’s loving something enough to bring it into being.

I think creating done right is in fact incredibly spiritual. It feels right to me that human beings have a natural desire to contribute to the world – just look at all the art, science, technology, wisdom, writing, music, etc. etc. etc. in the world. It seems like we are here to express ourselves in some way that is unique to each individual, and to deny this would be the same as denying who we are, and therefore the opposite of true spirituality. Real creators know what they love, and they know it is their birthright to go for it. They know how to hold an outcome lightly (like cupping water in your hand), and as a result, they get to be continually surprised by the wonders they bring into being.

 

Living For the Future.

There is a humungous difference between creating what you love for the sake of it (and enjoying your wonderful life as you do so) and chasing the proverbial carrot, and in the meantime not enjoying your life. Holding out for some great thing that will happen in the future is not creating.

As Eckhart Tolle puts it: “the present moment is all you ever have.”

 

Kicking Goals without Any Pleasure.

This was something I was quite good at back in the day. I was pretty good as making stuff happen that I intended, but I was often deeply unhappy – to the point where I suffered intense depression on a fairly regular basis. As the masters tell us – kicking goals without heart, without passion can be very empty and meaningless. It can be a very lonely existence.

Real creating is an inclusive affair. It is done connected to others, connected to heart, connected to joy, connected to the delights and drama of being a human being. Believe it or not, the pleasure is mostly found when you are working on something, rather than when you have finished it. Real Creators create for fun, and they have fun doing it, and while they may also be challenged, the overall experience is pleasurable. It’s like sex. If you’re not enjoying it, you’re probably not doing it right.

 

Seeking to be Satisfied by your Creations.

This one is a little weird – but awesome once you get your head around it. Credit where credit is due: it comes from master creator and teacher, Robert Fritz.

Satisfaction sounds like a sensible goal right? But the truth is, if you seek to get satisfaction out of life and your various creations, you are not only destined to be less satisfied, but your creations will not be as great as they can be. Think about it: for a start, satisfaction is totally dependent on mood. So some days you will be satisfied, some days you won’t. Take it further: imagine you are in a relationship and you are seeking to be satisfied by the relationship. To the degree that you feel unsatisfied, you will be less committed to that relationship. To the degree that you are less committed, you will have less satisfaction in the relationship. Then you will be less committed…etc. etc. Seeking to be satisfied by your creations leads to less involvement in them, which leads to less satisfaction and creations that are not as great as they can be.

The opposite of seeking satisfaction is seeking involvement. Satisfaction is dependent on how you feel and other external factors, but you can be involved anytime, no matter what your mood, state of health, or anything else going on in your life. And the more you involve yourself in your creations, the more fun they are. If you seek to involve yourself more deeply in your relationship, for instance, it will lead to a greater experience of your relationship. And this will lead to truth. This may mean having a deep, fantastic relationship, or it may mean moving on to something that is more true for you. Either way, you will be having a real and meaningful experience of your life. And because you are seeking involvement, you will be seeking to contribute to life, and we all know that things go well for givers, rather than takers.

Real creators are deeply aware of their contribution to life, and they seek to involve themselves and to give their gift whenever and wherever they can. And as a result, they are happier and more successful. Seen from the outside, creators can look lucky. But the truth is they create their own luck.

 

That’s it for now. Watch this space for the next instalment.

Lots of Love

Willow

If you are keen to become a creator yourself, I have a 7 week course beginning on the 3rd of March. You can check it out here.

 

If you’d like to book an awesome half hour session with me and nail your purpose in life – you can get more info here.  

What is Creating?

So, apparently I talk too much. Or to be more accurate: my blogs are too long. Here’s my solution: a wonderful series of blogs that I will release over the next few weeks about what creating really is. I’m going to start, as usual, by sharing a few things that creating isn’t:

Creating Isn’t About:

 

Getting Everything that you want all of the time.

No, silly, that is control. I dare say Hitler may have been able to insist that things go his way all of the time, but I wouldn’t call him a creator. Creating is about learning to flow with life, to use the laws of nature to support you in building the life you love. Real creators will tell you that they fail all the time, but that their overall experience of life is that it is filled with the things they love. Creating is like growing a garden: it’s not about insisting that every single seed you plant grows – it’s about letting some grow and others fail, but overall cultivating a wonderful blooming oasis that gives you and others great pleasure.

 

Staying within Your Comfort Zone.

Some people can look like great creators because there are a lot of external results in their lives. But this is not necessarily the case. We all have areas in which we are comfortable, and areas in which we are not. One person’s comfort zone is another person’s purgatory. I have a friend who happily does international talks for corporate bigwigs and doesn’t even break a sweat (I would be pissing my pants in the same circumstance), but then freaks out big time when someone asks her on a date…

This is why you can’t judge another person’s “creating” from the outside – because you don’t know where their comfort zone is, and what takes them to the edge of it. Real creating is not about just manifesting more of what comes easy to you – it’s about going for the things that REALLY matter – the ones that take you to your edge – the ones that challenge you a bit. Real creators know how to find the waves out on their edge, and ride them like professional surfers.

 

Forcing Stuff to Happen.

Here’s a good one. Some people are good at forcing the things they want into being. And to a certain degree, it can work. But it eventually falls down. There’s always a cost when you force it. Maybe it’s just that you can make stuff happen in a work context, but not create the relationship that you want. Or it might be that you are great at convincing a whole bunch of people to jump on board with your product, but then, if you have used force, the tricky part comes in how to keep them. If you create by force it is hard work to make it happen, hard work to keep it happening, and hard work to hang on to what you have. In the end, creations that have been brought into being by force collapse under their own weight. Need proof? Think about what happened to the Holy Roman Empire, or the British Empire, or what lead to the global financial crisis…

Creators on the other hand, know how to flow, how to go for things without forcing them, how and when to surrender, let go, and receive. When a creator brings something into being, the thing itself has a natural momentum that keeps it growing and building in the world – like what happens when you plant a tree. Sure you have to keep watering it on occasion, and look after it a bit – but it has its own will to live, its own wisdom, its own direction – all you have to do is give it the space to grow.

That’s it for now. Watch this space for the next instalment.

Lots of Love

Willow

 

If you are keen to become a creator yourself, I have a 7 week course beginning on the 3rd of March. You can check it out here.

 

If you’d like to book an awesome half hour session with me and nail your purpose in life – you can get more info here.  

Some seriously awesome stuff that you really want to know about your Purpose

When I first began to read “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek, I thought it was repetitive and a little dull. What I soon began to realise however, was that the insight contained within the book is even more brilliant than it first appears. Sinek is talking about what makes great leaders great, mostly in the context of business – as in, how do you become a phenomenally successful business leader? And he’s right. His stuff is freakin’ genius, even if you only want to apply it to business!

 

But this is even more awesome: everything that Sinek says about business in his book can be applied to the individual. In other words, he is providing a road map not just for how to create a groundbreaking business, or be a phenomenal speaker, but actually for every individual to define, connect with and live their purpose in the world. Now that’s pretty sexy if you ask me. It implies a new definition of what purpose is. It’s like when Einstein came up with the Theory of Relativity and it changed our view of the universe forever. Although he doesn’t explicitly say it in his book, Sinek’s theory begs an entirely new definition of purpose. And an entirely new definition of purpose means we can approach it in a whole new way, one that is far more direct, immediate and applicable to everyday life.

 

I can’t tell you how much this stuff excites me. I am literally having trouble keeping it together with the phenomenal implications that I can see for human empowerment. You see for me, what matters is bringing illumination to things, and adding value to everything I am involved in. And just as science is continually evolving, so too is our understanding of the world and ourselves and how to use this knowledge to change life as we know it. This isn’t mysticism (well it is also), but we’re doing it all the time actually. Like, remember when no one believed that Turing could build a mechanical brain? or when personal computers were a just a crazy idea because computers were the size of a room? Humanity is changing the world every day. And take it from someone who has changed dog shit into paradise; YOU can change your world right now, if you want to, and, let’s fact it, it’s easier if you know how.

So, what am I talking about, right? What is this new definition of purpose? Let me start by telling you a few things it’s not:

 

 

Your purpose is not in the future.

 

It’s very common for people to have a concept of their purpose as an unlived potential that will be realised at some beautiful euphoric moment in the future. The major problem with this is that if we create our universe with our minds (and we do), and then we define our potential as something that we will one day become in the future, then that’s where it will always stay, and as we all know, the future never comes. All this does is leave us feeling empty as we chase after a carrot that we somehow never get to actually taste.

Your purpose is not a job description.

 

Sure, you may express your purpose through your job, and it may be more suited to some jobs than others, but you are not what you do. You may be a mother, or a teacher, or a CEO, or an entrepreneur, or a musician or an artist or a scientist or whatever. And you may have skills and talents and abilities that relate to that work you do. But it is not your essence. It is not who you are. Your purpose is what stands behind what you do – it is, as Sinek says, something closer to why you do what you do, rather than what it is that you do. This means that you can change what you do at any time and still be “on purpose”, because your purpose can be expressed in a multitude of ways in the world and never has to get stuck. It’s what the mystics mean when they say we have limitless potential. It doesn’t necessarily mean we are everything – actually who we are is very specific – but it means we are free to express who we are through any medium.

 

 

Your Purpose is not Static.

 

Your purpose is active. It is a verb, not a noun. You are not a musician, for instance but rather you are someone who seeks to connect, or someone seeks to create transcendence. You are not a teacher, for instance, but rather someone who seeks to add value to people’s lives. Your purpose is “to…do something”, to contribute to yourself, others and the world in some vital way that is completely unique to you. This active, fluid nature of purpose makes it naturally desire to flow out of you into the world, like how water just naturally wants to flow downhill, so your purpose wishes to flow out of you, which is why it can be so excruciatingly painful when this flow is blocked. I remember being 18, and so so terrified of my own expression that some days I wouldn’t even leave the house. And I also remember the pain. (Incredible desire to contribute + intense resistance to expression = bucket loads of pain).

 

 

Your Purpose is not something to Aspire to.

 

Please, please, please, stop holding your awesomeness as some amazing quality or qualities that one day you will be when you are good enough, or get your shit together enough, or feel comfortable enough, etc. etc. etc. This is the knight in shining armour / fairy tale prince delusion. The idea that one day the knight (your purpose) will gallop into your life because you have finally made yourself worthy of him. Well, as great as they are, fairy tales are for children. Because the real story is more like The Alchemist, where you go on a huge journey seeking your truth, only to find that everything you need and want has been with you all along. Your purpose is not grand. It’s not glamorous. It’s not magnificent. It’s just something that deeply motivates you, beyond all else. Something that is very beautiful in its own way, but not so beautiful as to be unattainable.

 

 

Religion has taught us to worship divinity (now replaced by celebrities and gurus for the most part), and there is certainly greatness in the oneness that happens when humans come together to worship (in church, nature, or the cinema), but the Greek Myths warn us to avoid the terrible crime of hubris.

 

What’s hubris? It’s thinking you are a God yourself. In Greek myths those guilty of the crime of hubris suffer terrible tortures, often forever, and I always thought, literally until this moment, as I write this, that this was because, as stated in the myths, they have offended the Gods. But the Greek myths hold incredible wisdom, and now I realise that hubris doesn’t offend the gods because they are jealous of human power – it offends them because when you think of yourself as something unbelievably great, then who you are will always be an aspiration rather than a daily commitment and therefore, in the end you must fall short of the glamorous fantasy, and then in many cases, fall in a heap, never be truly great in real life. It’s the classic Icarus story: if you aim too high you will fall (or in many cases never get started in the first place). Your purpose is not an impossible dream. It is something gorgeous and perfect and you can live it right now, from this moment, as soon as you know what it is. In fact, the truth is you are already living it. It is such an intrinsic part of you, how could you not be? It’s just that when you cultivate awareness of your purpose and actively pursue you live it so much more. (And, just quietly, experience so much more pleasure).

 

 

Your Purpose is not complicated, hard to work out, or illusive.

 

Of all the reactions I thought I might get to my recent offer to get people’s purpose out in a 20 minute session, the most common was one I never would have expected: people simply didn’t believe it was possible. Man! That made me laugh. But it is indicative of how a lot of us can tend to hold purpose out as something unknowable, or hard to get to, or really complex or something. Well – let me blow your mind: It isn’t. The fact is, in that 20-minute session it only takes about 5 minutes to get the purpose – the rest is me giving background and showing you how to use it. Your purpose is simple. It’s easy. And you have been living it your whole life. You just don’t know it because it is such a natural compulsion in you that you have never even noticed it. In fact, you probably think everyone has that same compulsion, but they don’t. They have their own, unique and very special compulsion that is different to yours. Anything that is powerful in my opinion is essentially simple. The more simple the more powerful. So, of course, your purpose is simple as shit. Because it is intended for you to use it, to live it, and to ride the magnificent wave of what it is to be a human truly being himself or herself in the world.

 

 

Your Purpose is not hard to live.

 

When you think of your purpose as an aspiration, or as a job description, or as far off in the future – it feels like a big deal to live it. But your real purpose is meant to be lived. That’s why it’s easy to uncover because you have been unknowingly living it all your life. And you can live it right now, in every moment of your life, with only the smallest shift of attention in your mind.

 

This one is my favourite:

 

Your purpose is not separate from your “dark side”.

 

There are a lot of dualistic concepts out there in the spiritual world, the therapy world, and the mind science world. Most are some version of: you have a high side (it has many names but let’s say Soul) and a low side (again, many names, let’s call it ego) and the idea is to live more high than low. All good. The problem comes in when people don’t remember that all of these models of how it all works are exactly that: models. The thing about a model is that it isn’t the real thing. Remember semiotics? The picture of a pipe with “This is not a pipe” written beneath it? So if you hold one of these models as an absolute truth then you are creating a separation between “ego” and “soul” that doesn’t exist in reality. (And this can then lead on to all kinds of head fucks like: am I coming from my ego or my soul here? Is that my ego or my soul that wants that? She’s just being egoic. I’m more Souly than you are, etc. etc.). The truth is a model aids understanding, but once you have the understanding the next step is to throw the model away. There is no real separating line in our consciousness between our lower and higher sides. We are both/AND not either/OR, and a lot more besides. The beauty of an active purpose as Sinek describes it, is that it is both light and dark, and also neither, so it does away with this duality (which causes unnecessary trouble in the end), and just lets us get on with the job of living it.

 

So that’s what it isn’t, which may go some way to describing what it is. The short version is: Your purpose is a simple statement of what it is that you have always been standing for, what you stand for now, and what you will always stand for. Knowing what it is will change your life.

 

Lots of Love

Willow

 

If you want to know more about getting your purpose out in a half hour session, click here.

If you are interested in a 7 week Creating Masterclass (meaning how to create the life you love with your mind), click here.